Has anyone ever thought about how the months are named after numbers, but the numbers don't match up with the months? (for example - Sept=7 Oct=8 Nov=9 Dec=10)
July and August are imposters. They don't belong in the year! They're just kinda slipped in there between June and September, but they're not supposed to be there. Now, I know what you're thinking, and you're exactly right. They were added by the teacher's union because they wanted a longer summer vacation.
Maybe you've heard some story about Julius and Augustus Caesar, which really makes sense... but where did you learn that story? At school? From a teacher?
Don't let them fool you.
Back before there was summer, we had nice even temperatures all year. If you are a "spring" or a "fall" person, you would have loved it! But teachers unions got upset because they only got 1-2 weeks off in June and then had to start again in September. So one January they sped up the earth so the days would go faster and there would be more than the 300 days that used to be in the year. By June we were on track to hit 400 days! But the problem with speeding up the earth is that the faster speed caused more friction and the Earth began to heat up. So they decided to turn off the machine, but it was far too late. The newly created months, July and August, registered the hottest months in history and we experienced our first summer. So the union reps threw the machines into reverse in order to put things back, but they way overcompensated, and by the time we got to December, we were experiencing freezing temperatures like we had never seen, and the earth had slowed down so much that we ended up with our 365-day year.
The union reps of course hushed everything up and the teachers convinced everyone that this is the way it's always been.
But just remember: Any time we have an extra hot summer or an extra cold winter, any time we have a leap year, it's the teacher's union messing up again. They are forever stuck now, speeding up and slowing down the earth, never quite getting back to that sweet zone like we used to have. And it was all so they could have a longer summer break.
Let's spin a tale together.